OK..what to do???

My thoughts: If that is how you really feel, then you are not being a dik, just honest. That's worth something. Now you must figure out if she can handle the truth. If you think that she is secure enough in  your relationship to accept the truth, then tell her. The alternative is to take her once out of every 5 or 6 times that you go. That way you get your "Me" time and she gets her "us" time. Remember, a good compromise leaves both parties walking away from the table, thinking that they've been screwed. When you take her, she might realize that it's not for her because it's cold, or you may realize that you like her company more than you thought. Or, tell her that you'll take her, but you're not going to sit and babysit her. That will let you know if she's there because she wants to catch fish or if she's there just so she can be close to you. If it's the former, congratulations. Be proud. If it's the latter, skip the streams one day a week and take her dancing. Just my $0.02. I hope this helps.

SlabDaddy nailed it...compromise is key.
 
I fish whenever I want without complaint from the old lady....however..
 
If she asks to go somewhere....I take her.
 
PS....your not a Dik, we all need that "zen" as you put it

Wait til a frigid day in November. Heavy crowds and bad weather will be certain to keep her from wanting to go back! I, myself have practically been begging my wife to try it with me, but crowds, cold, and only hooking up a few times a day, keeps her from wanting to go.

I bring my wife with me when the weather is nice (late sept - early Oct.), and she loves the fishing. When the weather is bad (cold and rainy), she usually stays home. If you teach her well enough, you can both go fish, but head in differetn directions or fish different holes. You both can get away for zen time while still fishing "together".

I agree with everyone else, take her 1 out of every 3 or 4 trips just to see how it goes.  Never taking her at all if she wants to go is selfish.  Good relationships require compromise, and if you can't compromise just a little bit your relationship is certainly going to suffer. 
 
If she has never fished for trout before, then you could take her out for pellet heads somewhere and get her practiced up.  That's what I have done in the past.  Get their technique down good enough to catch trout, and then have her do the exact same thing in Erie for Steelhead only with a little more persistence.
 
Also, might want to make sure she can rig her line up at home before going and tie the proper knots needed.  Nothing worse than having to rig or bait a woman's line for her out in the field, because she doesn't know how or won't touch the bait.  I always make that a requirement before agreeing to take anyone fishing!

Cold That being said, I've never had that whole "you can go with me 1 out of 5 times" thing ever work out.

Cold If she wants to come along once in a while, okay.  I can arrange an outing that will be most enjoyable for both of us, no problem. 

 
Isn't that a bit contradictory?  You kinda sound like Mitt Romney, flip flopping in a single paragraph.  I don't think anyone who put down a number actually meant it had to be every 3'rd or every 5'th time exactly down to the trip no matter what.  Not sure what your girl is like, but to not want to plan a single trip with her out of 5 or more trips to Erie, unless you live locally sounds odd to me. 

a lot of very informative, mature information in this thread.  its kind of hard to believe.

You seem like a real relationship pro.  
 
Please, give us more of your insight.

Haha, no worries.
 
The women I tend to get involved with usually completely understand that fishing is my thing, and they don't mess with that.  Just what works for me, maybe not anyone else, though.
 

I still think its sad that you wouldn't invite your girl along with you on even 1 out of 10 trips for Erie Steelhead.  If you get her practiced up on pellet heads first, she should be able to fish the exact same way in Erie and catch fish without being so much of a burden to you.

 
Erie fishing is a very specific area that I wouldn't bring a girlfriend.  Sorry, nope.  It's my thing, and when I go, I fish hard (ask any of the equally hard-fishing duuds here that I've shared water with).  Unless I'd happen to get involved with someone that already fishes as hard as I do, she ain't going up with me for steelhead.  We'll go up some other time and hit the wineries or something when fishing isn't the main focus.  It's not just a girl thing either.  I wouldn't take a non-fishing buddy up there either.  It's just not really the time & place for a casual fisherman that only dusts off the ugly stik twice a year. 
 
Sure I could 'get her practiced up on pelletheads', but now youre talking about multiple outings of babysitting in the spring, not to mention truly boring pellethead fishing, just to get her to the point that she doesn't need you hovering when you're in Erie...for something that, really, she's probably only doing because you wanted her to do in the first place.  (If she REALLY wanted to fish, independently of your influence, she'd be an accomplished angler by the time you met.)
 
The last girl (just a friend) I took fishing went just once, but that was fine.  She warned me that while she had no problem touching fish (if this was a problem, she wouldn't go), she wasn't touching catfish bait or leeches (honestly, can't blame her on this one).  I assured her that with fly fishing, you didnt have to mess with the unclean thing. ;)  Really, anyone that's too squeamish to touch a fish is probably someone I wouldn't enjoy hanging out with anyway. :P

Really, anyone that's too squeamish to touch a fish is probably someone I wouldn't enjoy hanging out with anyway. :P

 
Well at least we agree on that!   

i would rather be fishing with a sweet smelling woman anyday but sometime you gotta choose your battles you say, i dont want to take you everytime i go. she hears he is getting tired of me. it sounds like you have time to fish when she doesnt ? would you rather go to the pottery barn or go fish ? take her on days when you dont need your me time. dont make it a point. if you need your time alone tell her baby i need some time alone i going steel head fishing. but if you make the point i am only taking you at these times she will wonder why . my opinion anyway

September through March? There is still some pretty decent weather in the first half of that with some good pond and bay fishing. Take her to the ponds and bay a couple of times during that time. As for teaching her to fish for steel, go ahead. Take her out once. But here is some advice from the Parson, "A healthy relationship includes communicating, recognizing, and respecting boundaries." Take your opportunity during the day to fish. Communicate: "Hey, I love fishing with you, and you are a lot of fun to be with. But there are times when I need to be alone with my thoughts."  Recognize boundaries: "How about this, I will take you out for steel on [this day] we can share my rod and I'll show you how to do it. I will walk you through it. When you get a day off we can hit the stream or maybe the bay or pond." But (and here is the boundary marker) as much as I enjoy fishing with you, I need to have time where I can be alone on the stream--steelheading is the time that I do that." Respecting boundaries: "Now as I said, I love fishing with you. You are great to be with. But can we do it like that? Where we have some time fishing together, but I can hit steel by myself?"
 
My wife and I have been married for 25 years now, she knows what I mean when I say, "I need to disappear," or, "I do not exist for the next 6 hours." Then I add, "But my truck does not disappear, it will down at streuchen or the tomato patch, etc."

cbeagler

September through March? There is still some pretty decent weather in the first half of that with some good pond and bay fishing. Take her to the ponds and bay a couple of times during that time. As for teaching her to fish for steel, go ahead. Take her out once. But here is some advice from the Parson, "A healthy relationship includes communicating, recognizing, and respecting boundaries." Take your opportunity during the day to fish. Communicate: "Hey, I love fishing with you, and you are a lot of fun to be with. But there are times when I need to be alone with my thoughts."  Recognize boundaries: "How about this, I will take you out for steel on [this day] we can share my rod and I'll show you how to do it. I will walk you through it. When you get a day off we can hit the stream or maybe the bay or pond." But (and here is the boundary marker) as much as I enjoy fishing with you, I need to have time where I can be alone on the stream--steelheading is the time that I do that." Respecting boundaries: "Now as I said, I love fishing with you. You are great to be with. But can we do it like that? Where we have some time fishing together, but I can hit steel by myself?"

My wife and I have been married for 25 years now, she knows what I mean when I say, "I need to disappear," or, "I do not exist for the next 6 hours." Then I add, "But my truck does not disappear, it will down at streuchen or the tomato patch, etc."

 
+1
This guy has got it down. Don't let any misguided macho bullcrap get in the way of treating her the same way you would like to be treated if the shoe were on the other foot.
 
As for taking her out to the most crowded hole in the coldest weather, that's just mean. If you actually did that on purpose for the sole purpose of putting her off of fishing, then you definately WOULD be a dik. I'm sure that's gonna get some guys riled up, but SERIOUSLY? Imagine that girl was your daughter and you found out that her boyfriend did that to her? Would you be ok with it? Purposely turning anyone away from enjoying fishing to meet your own selfish ends is just wrong on so many levels. Sorry duuds. Had to say it and you know I'm right. All of you guys were someone else's PIA once. Remember back when you were a kid and your Dad or uncle, etc had to drop whatever they were doing to help you tie on a hook, bait up, land a fish, etc? Well, noone ever cared enough to take that time to teach those things to the girl. If she's asking you to teach her and has an honest desire to learn, then personally I would be honored. Also, women are not stupid. They are much more attuned to other's feelings (empathetic) than most men. Chances are, she will already realize that you fish to get "away for a bit" and won't want to go every time that you go any way. She loves and respects you and figures, "if he loves fishing that much, then it must really be something special. Maybe I should try it." Consider it flattery because she wants to emulate you.
 
Everyone needs "away time." If you need it don't get it, you will become bitter and resentful. Be upfront and honest about needing some time alone, but share your passion with her once in a while. Maybe she'll like it, or maybe she won't. Either way, she deserves enough of your time and attention to find out which it will be.
 
Do not buy all of the gear. Borrow from a friend or whatever for the first outing. Either that, or buy gear that you will use if she decides not to go again. I've always found that the best way to enjoy something that you are truly passionate about is to share it with someone that you care about. Once again, only my $0.02 and I hope this helps.

spoonchucker

It's simple. Be honest, be respectful of ( and consider ) her needs & wishes, and expect the same from her. If you don't have that, you have nothing.

 
True. She is great, and I would never intentionally hurt her or be disrespectful. I like her, so I will respect her desire to go with me, not every time, heck she might not like all the people, wading, etc. But I certainly wont take her on the coldest day of the year either. I think what I will do is take to Elk Creek access and teach her from the bank there, see if she likes it...hopefully we get into some feesh, and if she likes it we will go from there. As I said before shes not at all squeamish....heck she splits crawlers with her nails....lol. Thanks again folks. 
 
Jim

TastyTrout

I'm kind of confused as to why you guys would encourage someone to discourage someone else from fishing.  It's talked about all too often on here about building the sport.  Sure there are plenty of people that fish the tribs, but this is this mans companion at this point wanting to be taken along. 

Let me ask you this.  If it were his child and he had the same opinion (he wanted the time for himself), how would you guys feel then?

Take her fishing man.  Like others have mentioned the conditions aren't always the greatest.  She may like it, she may not, but don't deny her the chance.

+1 That's wassup.