Funny things

maybe it's our know it all egos that scare other away

hey wader funny stuff regarding the joss hole man, that was defintiely before my time. i remember my first trip up in 1990 when i was only a boy. we walked down to the tail of the black on sunday and the fish were running preety well. my father set us up in a spot above the white water where angry kings were rushing through out of the white water. these two guys nearly knocked me and my brother over while stomping out in to the water and whipping the kings with their hook line sinker... they instantly snagged one and cranked it right in; the fool took the fish by the tail and started bashing it on the rocks until the poor thing stopped moving; crazy crazy things have definitely gone on in the past here... i'm sure a few funny stories will come out of this thread.

btw, hope you can make it to the outing; should be a good time even if you cant fish.

    Up in Nova Scotia fishing for nice Brookies and the occasional Atlantic a number of years ago with family there. Fishing a lake called Loc Lohomond (sp) which is shaped like an 8. There is  a  low to the water small wooden bridge at the intersection of the two circles with a small dirt road crossing the bridge.
  The Native I was fishing with was on shore and I was flying the outflow under the bridge while standing on it. A car stopped and 3 guys got out, one was more beligerant  than the other two and he stood next to me watching. The others stood on shore near by my relative.
  The guy kept bumping me and leaning on the bridge - bump ,bump , bump. I got a bit urinated after a short time. I looked at my partner and he gave a  look back while the other two stood by watching him fish. He had picked up on what was happening.
  Fineally said to the Bumper  something like' gee this is a real big country ya got up here aint it?' He looked at me and kinda bumped again and said "yea it is". I then calmly replied " then why the 8888 you gotta try and stand in the same spot as me?"---Game ON.
    A bit later the 2 dry guys and the wet one  got in their car and left. Went up there for a number of years and that was probably the most satisfying trip. We caught a lotta fish that year too.

Now that was funny Drake.
I've seen just about everything in Salmon Country,some funny things,some not so funny.Here's one funny....years ago while on the flats during a good run and good water flow I observed,along with others,a angler that was not going to get beat.He hooked a biggie and he and the fish took off downstream,he was in water to his thighs.Well he tripped and fell head first into the water,the fish kept going and the angler is first surfing on his belly,then bumping along on his rump,finally gaining his feet he actually brought it to hand.After all that he released it!Myself and others gave him a big cheer and he was grinning ear to ear.

Back when I started going up there I went to Orwell when the river was blown out. I get back there and there's a crew from Jersey ripping away, drinking beer and generally having fun trying to hook fish. One of them took the net for a walk and hadn't come back when one of the guys hooks a Big king & it wrapped him on a bush on the near and far side. I talked him through getting the near tangle undone and had him slack up to see if the fish would free up on the far side. No dice, but the fish was just hanging out. None of them had waders so I went in to untangle the thing for him.
When I got over there I worked the line loose then reached down quick, tailed the fish and lifted it out of the water with one hand. Carried it over and threw it on the bank for him.
They thought I was superman. I took pics of the dude holding it, eggs rolling out.
They went out for stuff, brought me back a pack of smokes and lunch for helping them out.
Later the net man returned & they chewed him a new butt hole. At the end of the day they poled their fish and 2 guys shouldered them out.
I didn't catch a thing. The fish were getting chased pretty good, but it was a fun day.

Years back fishing the bus hole a group of older guys from the adk area showed up. I had met a few of them the year before and new them to be stand up dudes. This year they had brought 8-10 friends along.
This was when the steel was first coming back in big numbers and size.
In the course of the day I don't believe they landed a fish. They hooked a ton but 12 in brookies and 15lb steel fight differently and they just couldn.t get a handle on it.
Well it started with the first guy barking like a dog after losing a fish and proceeded into adding an expletive after every lost fish.
You know like dang, gosh dang, gosh dang freaker, gosh dangclock stopping mother freaker.
Funniest bucnh of strangers I ever fished with.

Call ouyt to peeps----Smith bros you still around or any of you others there that day.

Sometimes I question my sense of humor--
An old friend and I were fishing mid river. He was on one side of a hole and I had the other. I looked over and he was bout knee deep and then he took a step and all I could see was his head. Right off a ledge.
Sorry bout that but all I could do was stand there and laugh-- a lot--dont think he appreciated it one bit.

ORIGINAL: solitario lupo

That was funny drake wish i was there to see it. I dont have any good stories like that, other than watching my old man or brother falling in the creek and floating by. Heres a good joke i heard a couple days ago.


The other day I came home and was gleefully greeted by my wife, dressed
only in very sexy underwear and holding a couple of short velvet ropes.
"Tie me up, " she purred, "and you can do anything you want".....
?????
So, I tied her up and went fishing..............

Now that's funny sheet there...lmao

well to day is the day, to cut or remain uncut lmao ..

like I said along with pictures I got hundreds so here is a few all at once..
speaking of LFZ:

#1 The not so LFZ
It was mid 80's and I'm fishing across from the smoke house and aint catchin nothin along with the rest of the crowd.. After awhile I'm looking around and there is nobody on the "other" side of the bridge. Whell what the heck I figure maybe I'll just wander over there.. So up and over I go and it wasn’t maybe 2 casts and zzzzzzzzing fish on.. Down it goes under the bridge and off it comes.. I start re rigging and hear these guys yelling something at me.. Ah they are just jealous I’m thinking.. Make another cast and zzzzzzzing fish on.. So I'm playing around with it and this guy comes over and says something like "hey azzhole you cant fish over here" What ? why not ? Then he says "cant you read the signs ? this is a closed area" and points to ALL the signs on the trees.. CLOSED No Fishing.. Quite humbled I put my head down, break the fish off and walk back to the "other" side and don’t catch another fish there..

#2 The long line
I said the importance of checking your fly line & backing for cuts:
Down in DSR, swinging away and feel my line get funky.. didn’t feel like a fish , not a snag but more like tangled in someone’s line snagged in the water. I start reeling it in and it's backing all fouled around my fly.. I hate when there is lots of line just hanging out in the water so start trying to pull it out.. All the sudden it starts moving upstream.. Hmmm as you'll see below I know what is going on now.. I stop pulling and just hold it for a min. and it stops.. I tell my buddy "there is a fish on that line so break my fly off so I can tie my line to this one" he thinks I'm crazy but does as I asked. As I am attempting to splice the lines together the fish heads for Altmar.. Never got the knot tight and away it goes never to be seen again..

#3 The line splice..

So its Oct second in early 90's.. How do I remember that day ? Bro-in-laws birthday and we went to SR.. He has no waders and not really a stream fisher so I told him we could do the boat but beware it's a total snag fest down there but I will keep you away from that as much as possible.. He agrees so we take the good ole Jon boat up to the estuary.. For some reason not too many people , yea the trailer hole had a full orchestra of conductors but we head up under rt-3 bridge to a steelie spot I know.. Ah shoot 2 boats parked there already, we go around them and park quite a ways above, yea we were now in DSR property but this was pre-court days so no problems.. We are just sitting there with some rapalas out behind us in the rod holders and hanging with our good friend JD and watching the rippers below.. All the sudden one of the rods goes crazy and he grabs it out of the holder.. Starts cranking it in and out comes his fj-9 rainbow trout rapala with some serious 30# line wrapped around the lure.. I told him I'd cut the lure off and splice the lines together.. I wrap some of the rope line around the cleat of the boat and take the other end and splice it to his 10# main line.. While I’m doing this the fish is now going bananas and jumping all over the place but is going nowhere being tied to the boat.. It finally settles down and I unwrap it from the cleat and the battle is on.. He gets the fish to the net and I pull the giant tuna hook out of his pectoral fin and let it free.. His only salmon caught to date.. But then his one and only time Salmon fishing.. He wants nothing to do with the antics that go on there.. We will be taking his boat out on the lake this month.

#4 The Lodge
Back in the day there was this place called the sportsman’s lodge.. waDer knows it well ..
I'm an 18 year old and knew some friends who used to stay there often , you could legally drink at 18.. They tell me is a wild and crazy place.. Right on, just what I'm looking for.. We go there and sure enough it's pretty wild, things that you just don’t write about in a public forum. LOL.. Any way after a day o fishing we head to the lodge to do some drinking and hanging out for the night.. After awhile someone decides we should go out back and plink off some beer cans.. Sounds awesome, we start throwing down dome lead and put some holes those poor dead already old Milwaukee cans.. Now you can only shoot a 357 so long before it starts wearing on you so enough of that in we go to start throwing some darts.. Everyone is having a good time when all the sudden the freakin loudest noise I have ever heard rings out and the poor dart board about explodes on the wall.. WTF !! Put that **** thing away before someone gets killed, he did and nobody died that day.. well except those poor Milwaukee cans and a dartboard..

#5 the drift boat
we are up in Late Feb/early March staying at a friends camp for the week. We book a drift boat trip with a lodge who will remain anonymous.. Pre-Pay & tell the guy we will be here for the week so when ever he wants to take us out that will be fine just give us a call at the camp the eve before (yea it had a phone).. So the first few days go by and we are doing ok bank fishing.. Then I think it was weds when this monster ICE storm comes through and paralyzes the entire region.. Maybe some remember that storm, it was Epic.. Great now what we think, no power, no phone.. Well thurs we do nothing but sit around all day and get hammered. As darkness falls a knock at the door.. It's the lodge owner saying he wants to take us out on Sat.. Man we say to him nothing like cutting it close we are leaving on sat. Sat morning comes and we go to the lodge at 7am for our trip.. Sitting there we wait for his guide to show up.. An hr later this rust bucket ford pulls up and a rough looking guy about falls out and say "man sorry I'm late but had a rough night" Ok no big deal lets just go and do this.. He hooks up to the drift boat and we follow him to Altmar.. In goes the boat and we shuttle the truck to Pineville.. When we get back to the boat he informs us he forgot his gear and asks if we have any.. No a bad scene is getting worse.. We tell him all we have is noodle rods and maybe some rapalas & spoons in our box.. Great he says that will work.. Down we go and just under the bridge he ralphs over the side asking if anyone has Aspirins.. Nope sorry buddy your sol on that one.. He was also a trooper and stuck it out by "guiding" us to Pineville in less the 2hrs and says the fishing is bad because of the weather so I'm gonna call this a wrap.. FINE lets just get this over and head home.. We load the boat and he drives us back to our truck .. We get out, pack our stuff and say see ya later fella.. The guy then has the balls to tell us the lodge gets the money he gets paid from tips and expects to get a tip.. Well we told him the only tip we are giving is that he gets outta here before he ends up over the side of rt 52 bridge.. Away he goes never to be seen by us again..

ORIGINAL: hot tuna

#5 the drift boat
An hr later this rust bucket ford pulls up and a rough looking guy about falls out and say "man sorry I'm late but had a rough night" Ok no big deal lets just go and do this.. He hooks up to the drift boat and we follow him to Altmar.. In goes the boat and we shuttle the truck to Pineville.. When we get back to the boat he informs us he forgot his gear and asks if we have any.. No a bad scene is getting worse.. We tell him all we have is noodle rods and maybe some rapalas & spoons in our box.. Great he says that will work.. Down we go and just under the bridge he ralphs over the side asking if anyone has Aspirins.. Nope sorry buddy your sol on that one.. He was also a trooper and stuck it out by "guiding" us to Pineville in less the 2hrs and says the fishing is bad because of the weather so I'm gonna call this a wrap.. FINE lets just get this over and head home.. We load the boat and he drives us back to our truck .. We get out, pack our stuff and say see ya later fella.. The guy then has the balls to tell us the lodge gets the money he gets paid from tips and expects to get a tip.. Well we told him the only tip we are giving is that he gets outta here before he ends up over the side of rt 52 bridge.. Away he goes never to be seen by us again..

LOL - coulda been worse HT - he could have dropped anchor across from the Unemployment Hole and cracked open another beer.

So I'm fishing the head of the snag (from the right side)when a drift boat achors up just upriver from me and starts letting out plugs, without not so much as a howdydo.

In one of those GOD is not dead moments along comes a gull that paints a white stripe from one end to the other cover both sports and the guide. NJeedless to say they didn't tie up the hole for long.

Ive got hundreds of funny stories, you know the usual drunk guy falling off the bank, falling into a deep hole he didnt know was there, a few fights and such.

But last year i seen the greatest revenge on a snagger ever by a salmon. Down in pineville i seen a blatant snagger ripping tearing his tuna rig. So i can hear these guys across the bank, "im gonnna catch one, always gotta keep and eat the first one." so after 5 minutes of watching this guy try and snag his first salmon he finally hits one, after 25 minutes of fighting his buddy nets the salmon. Now common sense to me after 5 minutes this salmon has alot of fight in him, and boy did he. So as this snagger is posing for a picture in the water i noticed he wasnt really holding on tight to the fish, nor the right way, so as hes standing there posing and smiling, the salmon flops about and literally, im not kidding you smacks this snagger in the face with his tail, then the his head. Straight 1-2-ed this guy in the face, the guy falls back and fish falls back into the water and swims away.

I literally was laughing so hard with my buddy i layed on the ground due to lack of air.

Saddest story was watching a kid snagging the filleted bodies of kings behind the old silver star grocery store.
Whooping like he had just dunked on Shaq every time he lifted another skeleton off the bottom.

Then watching a guy in the same place playing a large black leaf bag for over 30 minutes before his hook ripped free leaving him swearing he just lost the record king.

anyone see a "10 foot pole" around?