RE: The Locker Room (Full Version)

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pghmarty -> RE: The Locker Room (5/17/2007 9:43:06 PM)

Leave out the IMG at the beginning and end



big brown -> RE: The Locker Room (5/18/2007 10:25:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pghmarty

[image]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v225/erieeye/db_Olivia-blue-1.jpg[/image]

To add picture:
Click the square with the picture of a mountain at the right side above where you write.
Then add your http//

is that a snapper? 



Skip16503 -> RE: The Locker Room (5/23/2007 2:14:48 PM)

 


[img]http://fishy.vegard2.no/fishy_020.jpg[/img]

[img]http://fishy.vegard2.no/fishy_007.jpg[/img]

[img]http://fishy.vegard2.no/fishy_037.jpg[/img]



T.T. -> RE: The Locker Room (5/31/2007 10:46:36 PM)

[image]http://toiletmuseum.com/mens/equality2.jpg[/image]

I just discovered the greatest pg-13 site on the net!

http://toiletmuseum.com/index.php



pghmarty -> RE: The Locker Room (5/31/2007 11:07:45 PM)

http://toiletmuseum.com/index.php

toiletmuseum.com



T.T. -> RE: The Locker Room (6/8/2007 1:26:37 PM)

I just got this one sent to me, and thought I'd share.  Let me first explain that I am an equal opportunity offender.  Ethnic jokes can go wrong, but this one is harmless, and funny.  If anyone has a good Russian joke, be my guest.



Chinese Wedding Night

A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he
is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she cowers naked
under the sheets as her husband undresses He climbs in next to her and
tries to be reassuring.

"My darring" he says, "I know dis yoo firss time and you berry
fwighten.   I pwamis yoo, I gib yoo anyting you wan, I do anyting - juss
ask..Anyting yoo wan. Whatchoo wan?" he says, trying to sound
experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for
her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan try
someping I have hear about... Numbaa 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled
tone he queries...

"Yoo wan... Chicken wiff Broccori '' ?  



pghmarty -> RE: The Locker Room (6/8/2007 2:00:34 PM)

Russian Joke
An old woman was sitting in a park in Moscow reading a "Teach Yourself Hebrew" book. A policeman notices her and decides to start to give her a hard time.
"What are you reading that for?" he shouts at her.
She replies, "I am old, and I will die soon. I want to be prepared; so I am studying the language of heaven."
The cop says, "Well, how do know that it's heaven that you are going to?"
The old women answers, "Well, honestly I don't, but that's okay. I already speak Russian."



T.T. -> RE: The Locker Room (6/8/2007 2:05:26 PM)

Nice.



tippy-toe -> RE: The Locker Room (6/8/2007 11:48:58 PM)

Oldie but goodie


A priest a lawyer and a doctor are on a boat filled with boy scouts and the boat starts to sink.
 
The doctor says..."my God the children..we have to save the children!!
 
The lawyer says... "Fu(k the children"
 
and.... the priest says..." do you think we have time?"



tippy-toe -> RE: The Locker Room (6/8/2007 11:56:11 PM)

Lord, I apologize for that there last joke, and please be with the starving pygmies down in New Guinea



tippy-toe -> RE: The Locker Room (6/12/2007 10:16:38 PM)

What????? no responses???? one priest joke and you all bail...c'mon



carpin06 -> RE: The Locker Room (6/12/2007 11:45:18 PM)

How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day????
there is a tampon behind her ear and she cant find her pencil......[sm=biglaugh.gif]



pghmarty -> RE: The Locker Room (6/13/2007 12:53:51 AM)

Bad Humor

A man's wife rushed to the hospital unexpectedly, and asked her husband to bring her some items from home including "comfortable underwear".
Worried he'd make the wrong choice, he asked, "But how will I know which ones are comfortable?"
She answered, "Hold them up and imagine me in them. If you smile, put 'em back!"



Carpet Bagger -> RE: The Locker Room (6/13/2007 3:14:10 PM)

i dont think it was the priest joke...i think it was the horrible reference to the dumbest comic ever...Larry the Cable Guy....he is terrible.....

Ron White is the funniest out of all those guys...



tippy-toe -> RE: The Locker Room (6/13/2007 9:46:17 PM)

Ron White is great....the best line I ever heard was:

"I had the right to remain silent, I just didn't have the ability..."



mossy oak -> RE: The Locker Room (6/14/2007 4:05:29 AM)

Been there............




MO



T.T. -> RE: The Locker Room (6/14/2007 10:47:55 AM)

Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2. Once inside the bank shortly after midnight , their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened. They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.                      

The morning newspaper headline read:
IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING...



DanesDad -> RE: The Locker Room (6/16/2007 8:02:03 PM)

A kid catches another man sleeping with his mom.  He hides in the closet to avoid being seen.  Suddenly the womans husband comes home.  Thinking quickly, the wife says "Hide in here", and pushes the guy into the same closet as the kid.  Soon each realizes the other is in the closet.
Kid: Dark in here.
Man: Yeah it is.
Kid: I got a baseball.
Man: really?
Kid: You can have it for 50 bucks.
Man: I'm not paying 50 bucks for a baseball!
Kid: I know why you are in this closet right now. I wonder what my dad will think?

So the guy ends up giving the kid 50 bucks for the baseball and after a while is able to get away.

2 weeks later, the same thing happens.  Again, the husband comes home and the guy winds up in the same closet with the kid....
Kid: Dark in here.
Man: Yeah, it is.
Kid: I got a baseball glove 
Man: (knowing where this is going):OK, how much?
Kid: 100 bucks.
Man:  That's ridiculous!
Kid: I Know why you are in here.  I wonder what my dad will think?

So the guy forks over the hundred and again escapses unharmed.

Couple days later the father finds out that the kid has all this money and asks where he got it.  "I sold my ball and glove to a friend for 150 bucks.  The dad is upset.  "You cannot be fleecing your friends like that!  I'm taking you to church right now so you can confess your sin!  That was just morally wrong!"

So they get to church and the kid enters the confessional.

Kid: Dark in here.
Priest: Dont start that **** kid, you're in MY closet now!



Mikastorm -> RE: The Locker Room (6/17/2007 7:39:02 AM)

That was a good un.:)



MICK FISH -> RE: The Locker Room (6/26/2007 12:20:48 AM)

I just discovered this thread.  Pretty good!  Like the jokes...like the pictures more!!!  If that is really your wife ShutupNFish, I would be shuttn'upN doing lots of dirty things, not fishing!!![sm=banana2.gif]



MICK FISH -> RE: The Locker Room (6/26/2007 12:23:36 AM)

[image]http://www.freewebs.com/titfishdan/shirts/life1.JPG[/image]



pghmarty -> RE: The Locker Room (8/1/2007 11:28:22 AM)

Bad Humor Cab Driver Humor

1. An excited young man got into a taxi and told the driver, "I just graduated from Harvard University and I can't wait to see what the world has in store for me."
The driver looked back over the seat and said dourly, "Congratulations. I'm Mitch, Harvard Class of 1959!"

2. A minister died and found himself in line at the Pearly Gates behind a man wearing sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
St. Peter asked the man, "State your name so I may determine whether to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven."
The man replied, "I'm Joe, the taxi driver, from Noo Yawk City."
St. Peter consulted his list, smiled and said, "Here, take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
As the taxi driver entered Heaven, St. Peter turned to the minister. "State your name so I may determine whether to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The minister stood up tall and said, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."
St. Peter consulted his list, smiled and said, "Here, take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The minister was confused. "Hey, wait a minute. That guy drove a taxi and he gets silk and gold, while I spent my life ministering and I get cotton and wood? How can this be?"
"Simple," said St. Peter. "Up here, we go by results. When you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed!"



Mikastorm -> RE: The Locker Room (8/1/2007 10:39:47 PM)

Good. Very good!



pghmarty -> RE: The Locker Room (8/2/2007 9:02:01 AM)

Bad Humor The Art Thief

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre musuem.
After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, the art thief replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Editor: And you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to post this. Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse. Hehehe!



kevinupp -> RE: The Locker Room (8/2/2007 9:40:13 AM)

I have this sudden desire to go buy a Penn.



pappy69 -> RE: The Locker Room (8/2/2007 9:56:10 AM)

Hey Marty,
 
That's punny!  [sm=monalisa.gif]



Over the Hill -> RE: The Locker Room (8/2/2007 4:58:53 PM)

Tops make the best bait!

[image]local://18797/B80EE0E2D7A84864989327AD4A6E6616.jpg[/image]



DanesDad -> RE: The Locker Room (8/3/2007 1:48:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pghmarty

Bad Humor The Art Thief

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre musuem.
After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, the art thief replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Editor: And you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to post this. Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse. Hehehe!


Brutal!



pghmarty -> RE: The Locker Room (8/4/2007 6:27:33 PM)

Political Correctness Defined

The following is the winning entry from an annual contest calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's term: Political Correctness.

And the winner is:

"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."



Luke 9:23 -> RE: The Locker Room (8/5/2007 7:21:30 AM)

LOL!



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