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RE: The Locker Room - 5/17/2007 9:43:06 PM   
pghmarty


Posts: 4253
Joined: 12/5/2004
From: Bradford Pa then Pittsburgh
Status: offline 		Leave out the IMG at the beginning and end

(in reply to D.T.FISH)
Post #: 61
RE: The Locker Room - 5/18/2007 10:25:53 PM   
big brown


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pghmarty



To add picture:
Click the square with the picture of a mountain at the right side above where you write.
Then add your http//

is that a snapper? 

(in reply to pghmarty)
Post #: 62
RE: The Locker Room - 5/23/2007 2:14:48 PM   
Skip16503


Posts: 2008
Status: online 		 








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10 Fingers 10 Toes NO HOLES

I won't live by rules that make no sense to me

(in reply to big brown)
Post #: 63
RE: The Locker Room - 5/31/2007 10:46:36 PM   
T.T.

 

Posts: 3044
Status: offline

I just discovered the greatest pg-13 site on the net!

http://toiletmuseum.com/index.php

(in reply to Skip16503)
Post #: 64
RE: The Locker Room - 5/31/2007 11:07:45 PM   
pghmarty


Posts: 4253
Joined: 12/5/2004
From: Bradford Pa then Pittsburgh
Status: offline 		http://toiletmuseum.com/index.php

toiletmuseum.com

< Message edited by pghmarty -- 5/31/2007 11:08:35 PM >

(in reply to T.T.)
Post #: 65
RE: The Locker Room - 6/8/2007 1:26:37 PM   
T.T.

 

Posts: 3044
Status: offline 		I just got this one sent to me, and thought I'd share.  Let me first explain that I am an equal opportunity offender.  Ethnic jokes can go wrong, but this one is harmless, and funny.  If anyone has a good Russian joke, be my guest.



Chinese Wedding Night

A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he
is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she cowers naked
under the sheets as her husband undresses He climbs in next to her and
tries to be reassuring.

"My darring" he says, "I know dis yoo firss time and you berry
fwighten.   I pwamis yoo, I gib yoo anyting you wan, I do anyting - juss
ask..Anyting yoo wan. Whatchoo wan?" he says, trying to sound
experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for
her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan try
someping I have hear about... Numbaa 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled
tone he queries...

"Yoo wan... Chicken wiff Broccori '' ?  

(in reply to pghmarty)
Post #: 66
RE: The Locker Room - 6/8/2007 2:00:34 PM   
pghmarty


Posts: 4253
Joined: 12/5/2004
From: Bradford Pa then Pittsburgh
Status: offline 		Russian Joke
An old woman was sitting in a park in Moscow reading a "Teach Yourself Hebrew" book. A policeman notices her and decides to start to give her a hard time.
"What are you reading that for?" he shouts at her.
She replies, "I am old, and I will die soon. I want to be prepared; so I am studying the language of heaven."
The cop says, "Well, how do know that it's heaven that you are going to?"
The old women answers, "Well, honestly I don't, but that's okay. I already speak Russian."

< Message edited by pghmarty -- 6/8/2007 2:01:30 PM >

(in reply to T.T.)
Post #: 67
RE: The Locker Room - 6/8/2007 2:05:26 PM   
T.T.

 

Posts: 3044
Status: offline 		Nice.

(in reply to pghmarty)
Post #: 68
RE: The Locker Room - 6/8/2007 11:48:58 PM   
tippy-toe


Posts: 4151
Joined: 11/21/2005
From: under a rock
Status: online 		Oldie but goodie


A priest a lawyer and a doctor are on a boat filled with boy scouts and the boat starts to sink.
 
The doctor says..."my God the children..we have to save the children!!
 
The lawyer says... "Fu(k the children"
 
and.... the priest says..." do you think we have time?"

_____________________________

I have the right to remain silent.....I just don't have the ability

(in reply to T.T.)
Post #: 69
RE: The Locker Room - 6/8/2007 11:56:11 PM   
tippy-toe


Posts: 4151
Joined: 11/21/2005
From: under a rock
Status: online 		Lord, I apologize for that there last joke, and please be with the starving pygmies down in New Guinea

_____________________________

I have the right to remain silent.....I just don't have the ability

(in reply to tippy-toe)
Post #: 70
RE: The Locker Room - 6/12/2007 10:16:38 PM   
tippy-toe


Posts: 4151
Joined: 11/21/2005
From: under a rock
Status: online 		What????? no responses???? one priest joke and you all bail...c'mon

_____________________________

I have the right to remain silent.....I just don't have the ability

(in reply to tippy-toe)
Post #: 71
RE: The Locker Room - 6/12/2007 11:45:18 PM   
carpin06

 

Posts: 394
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day????
there is a tampon behind her ear and she cant find her pencil......

(in reply to tippy-toe)
Post #: 72
RE: The Locker Room - 6/13/2007 12:53:51 AM   
pghmarty


Posts: 4253
Joined: 12/5/2004
From: Bradford Pa then Pittsburgh
Status: offline 		Bad Humor

A man's wife rushed to the hospital unexpectedly, and asked her husband to bring her some items from home including "comfortable underwear".
Worried he'd make the wrong choice, he asked, "But how will I know which ones are comfortable?"
She answered, "Hold them up and imagine me in them. If you smile, put 'em back!"

< Message edited by pghmarty -- 6/13/2007 1:07:30 AM >

(in reply to carpin06)
Post #: 73
RE: The Locker Room - 6/13/2007 3:14:10 PM   
Carpet Bagger

 

Posts: 2025
Joined: 4/18/2001
From: Greenville, PA
Status: offline 		i dont think it was the priest joke...i think it was the horrible reference to the dumbest comic ever...Larry the Cable Guy....he is terrible.....

Ron White is the funniest out of all those guys...

_____________________________

CB

(in reply to pghmarty)
Post #: 74
RE: The Locker Room - 6/13/2007 9:46:17 PM   
tippy-toe


Posts: 4151
Joined: 11/21/2005
From: under a rock
Status: online 		Ron White is great....the best line I ever heard was:

"I had the right to remain silent, I just didn't have the ability..."

_____________________________

I have the right to remain silent.....I just don't have the ability

(in reply to Carpet Bagger)
Post #: 75
RE: The Locker Room - 6/14/2007 4:05:29 AM   
mossy oak


Posts: 895
Joined: 10/13/2003
Status: offline 		Been there............




MO

(in reply to tippy-toe)
Post #: 76
RE: The Locker Room - 6/14/2007 10:47:55 AM   
T.T.

 

Posts: 3044
Status: offline 		Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2. Once inside the bank shortly after midnight , their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened. They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.                      

The morning newspaper headline read:
IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING...

< Message edited by T.T. -- 6/14/2007 10:48:21 AM >

(in reply to mossy oak)
Post #: 77
RE: The Locker Room - 6/16/2007 8:02:03 PM   
DanesDad

 

Posts: 1831
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline 		A kid catches another man sleeping with his mom.  He hides in the closet to avoid being seen.  Suddenly the womans husband comes home.  Thinking quickly, the wife says "Hide in here", and pushes the guy into the same closet as the kid.  Soon each realizes the other is in the closet.
Kid: Dark in here.
Man: Yeah it is.
Kid: I got a baseball.
Man: really?
Kid: You can have it for 50 bucks.
Man: I'm not paying 50 bucks for a baseball!
Kid: I know why you are in this closet right now. I wonder what my dad will think?

So the guy ends up giving the kid 50 bucks for the baseball and after a while is able to get away.

2 weeks later, the same thing happens.  Again, the husband comes home and the guy winds up in the same closet with the kid....
Kid: Dark in here.
Man: Yeah, it is.
Kid: I got a baseball glove 
Man: (knowing where this is going):OK, how much?
Kid: 100 bucks.
Man:  That's ridiculous!
Kid: I Know why you are in here.  I wonder what my dad will think?

So the guy forks over the hundred and again escapses unharmed.

Couple days later the father finds out that the kid has all this money and asks where he got it.  "I sold my ball and glove to a friend for 150 bucks.  The dad is upset.  "You cannot be fleecing your friends like that!  I'm taking you to church right now so you can confess your sin!  That was just morally wrong!"

So they get to church and the kid enters the confessional.

Kid: Dark in here.
Priest: Dont start that **** kid, you're in MY closet now!

(in reply to T.T.)
Post #: 78
RE: The Locker Room - 6/17/2007 7:39:02 AM   
Mikastorm


Posts: 2545
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		That was a good un.:)

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(in reply to DanesDad)
Post #: 79
RE: The Locker Room - 6/26/2007 12:20:48 AM   
MICK FISH

 

Posts: 181
Joined: 5/8/2007
Status: offline 		I just discovered this thread.  Pretty good!  Like the jokes...like the pictures more!!!  If that is really your wife ShutupNFish, I would be shuttn'upN doing lots of dirty things, not fishing!!!

(in reply to pghmarty)
Post #: 80
RE: The Locker Room - 6/26/2007 12:23:36 AM   
MICK FISH

 

Posts: 181
Joined: 5/8/2007
Status: offline

(in reply to pghmarty)
Post #: 81
RE: The Locker Room - 8/1/2007 11:28:22 AM   
pghmarty


Posts: 4253
Joined: 12/5/2004
From: Bradford Pa then Pittsburgh
Status: offline 		Bad Humor Cab Driver Humor

1. An excited young man got into a taxi and told the driver, "I just graduated from Harvard University and I can't wait to see what the world has in store for me."
The driver looked back over the seat and said dourly, "Congratulations. I'm Mitch, Harvard Class of 1959!"

2. A minister died and found himself in line at the Pearly Gates behind a man wearing sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
St. Peter asked the man, "State your name so I may determine whether to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven."
The man replied, "I'm Joe, the taxi driver, from Noo Yawk City."
St. Peter consulted his list, smiled and said, "Here, take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
As the taxi driver entered Heaven, St. Peter turned to the minister. "State your name so I may determine whether to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The minister stood up tall and said, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."
St. Peter consulted his list, smiled and said, "Here, take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The minister was confused. "Hey, wait a minute. That guy drove a taxi and he gets silk and gold, while I spent my life ministering and I get cotton and wood? How can this be?"
"Simple," said St. Peter. "Up here, we go by results. When you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed!"

(in reply to MICK FISH)
Post #: 82
RE: The Locker Room - 8/1/2007 10:39:47 PM   
Mikastorm


Posts: 2545
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Good. Very good!

_____________________________


(in reply to pghmarty)
Post #: 83
RE: The Locker Room - 8/2/2007 9:02:01 AM   
pghmarty


Posts: 4253
Joined: 12/5/2004
From: Bradford Pa then Pittsburgh
Status: offline 		Bad Humor The Art Thief

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre musuem.
After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, the art thief replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Editor: And you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to post this. Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse. Hehehe!

(in reply to Mikastorm)
Post #: 84
RE: The Locker Room - 8/2/2007 9:40:13 AM   
kevinupp


Posts: 4454
Joined: 9/22/2001
Status: offline 		I have this sudden desire to go buy a Penn.

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More than a million trees a year die to print environmentalist publications.

(in reply to pghmarty)
Post #: 85
RE: The Locker Room - 8/2/2007 9:56:10 AM   
pappy69


Posts: 345
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: online 		Hey Marty,
 
That's punny! 

_____________________________

Pappy

(in reply to kevinupp)
Post #: 86
RE: The Locker Room - 8/2/2007 4:58:53 PM   
Over the Hill


Posts: 403
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: online 		Tops make the best bait!




Attachment (1)

(in reply to pappy69)
Post #: 87
RE: The Locker Room - 8/3/2007 1:48:12 AM   
DanesDad

 

Posts: 1831
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pghmarty

Bad Humor The Art Thief

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre musuem.
After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, the art thief replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Editor: And you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to post this. Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse. Hehehe!


Brutal!

(in reply to pghmarty)
Post #: 88
RE: The Locker Room - 8/4/2007 6:27:33 PM   
pghmarty


Posts: 4253
Joined: 12/5/2004
From: Bradford Pa then Pittsburgh
Status: offline 		Political Correctness Defined

The following is the winning entry from an annual contest calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's term: Political Correctness.

And the winner is:

"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

(in reply to DanesDad)
Post #: 89
RE: The Locker Room - 8/5/2007 7:21:30 AM   
Luke 9:23

 

Posts: 287
Joined: 10/1/2005
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline 		LOL!

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Luke 9:23

(in reply to pghmarty)
Post #: 90
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